The past year (period ending 1, December 2011-1,December 2012) had it’s great music moments but like every other facet of life, it had it’s downsides. We scour through the major musical releases and bring you the definitive list of the 5 worst albums of the year.

You may want to burn your copies.

Solar Plexus – Mavin All stars

The D’Banj-Don Jazzy breakup was one of the top music events of 2012. The release of the Don Jazzy-led Mavin All star album, ‘Solar plexus’ sadly wasn’t. And there are no prizes for guessing why. The problems are legion; weak delivery, over reliance on lavish beats, underutilization of Wande Coal, puerile lyrics and a general lack of cohesion. Proponents argue it was a project put together in a hurry but we say it is still no excuse.

 

The Statement – Sammie Okposo

There is a reason Sammie Okposo’s latest album of gospel tunes was largely ignored by the record buying populace. It isn’t a good album. The heavy-handed production values attempts to gloss over the fact that Mr Okposo did not have a lot to offer this time around but the cracks kept showing.

 

Selah – J.  Martins

J Martins’ latest contains 15 unremarkable and utterly repetitive songs and is about as exciting as a dental extraction proceedure. There is a desperate lack of identity as all of the songs could have easily been recorded by any of Mr Martins’ contemporaries.

Selah may be Hebrew for pause and think but neither attributes were employed in the crafting of this record.

 

Omo Baba Olowo: The Genesis – Davido

At the start of 2012,  with his ubiquitous hit singles and flashy videos, Davido was the man to beat, up until he released what is perhaps the most disappointing record of the year. O.B.O may have been meant to let us have a good time but it fails terribly at it’s primary assignment. It is unbearably tedious, sinks where it should swim and drags us down with it’s weight. This is one album we still wish never happened.

 

Footprints – Duncan Mighty

‘Footprints’, consisting of 18 tracks is filled with flops like ‘Rejection to attraction’, ‘Wine it’ (with Shaggy) and just about every other song on the disc. It is pale, repetitive, tedious, uninspiring and Timaya has no reason to be looking over his back.

 

There seems to be no end to insinuations that Saturday’s helicopter crash, which killed a serving governor and a former national security adviser, was a sabotage.

Fingers have pointed at incumbent National Security Adviser, who has since denied any involvement. The Navy’s pronouncement that the crashed helicopter was airworthy also lent credence to the sabotage theory, which was further fueled, Monday, by comments attributed to Gabriel Suswan, the governor of Benue State, who alleged there was a plot to annihilate Christian governors from the North.

Suswan alleged that there were plans by the Boko Haram Islamic militant sect to attack him, and called on Christians in the country to pray fervently for him.

Addressing communicants of NKST Church, in High Level quarters, Makurdi on Monday, he decried a situation where only four of all the governors in the north are Christian.

“With the demise of Sir Patrick Yakowa and the almost hopeless condition of Suntai, only two of them are left standing,” he said. “I went to Germany to see Suntai and I could not believe what I saw.”

Only last month, Governor of Taraba State, Danfulani Danbaba Suntai, a Christian, was involved in a ghastly chopper crash and he is still in a very critical condition at a German hospital.

The death of Gov. Yakowa was greeted with jubilation in the street of Kaduna by Muslims, who had been unhappy that a Christian was at the helm of affair in the state, thus corroborating Suswan’s claim.

 

It was just a few minutes to 13.00hours and the service of songs was in session when our chartered Caverton helicopter landed in ancient breezy coastal community of Okoroba, hometown of Mr. Oronto Douglas, a senior aide to President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. I had flown with my Uncle, Engr. Mayne David-West, Principal Consultant of Pearl Consultants, and George Kerley, Coordinator of The Jonathan Project and an unrepentant crusader of the president.

We proceeded directly to the venue of the Service of Songs. It was a ten minutes walk from the school field where the helicopter had landed, and it offered an opportunity to see the sprawling ancient community and the new developments taking place. The people were very happy. They were seeing new faces – ministers; governors; commissioners; corporate executives and citizens they only read about and saw in the news walk on the new rigid pavements of their community. I think above all, they wowed at the Nollywood stars who dazzled the natives to disbelief.Ramsey Noah, Rita Dominic, Segun Arinze et al, then the big masquerade – Kanu Nwankwo was right there. I said to myself, the children of Okoroba Town would be inspired by the time the body of Pa Douglas is finally laid to rest.

In this flourish and fanfare, he sat quiet, listening to the incisive message delivered by the Reverend Ayo Oritsejafor. He seemed consumed by the pastor’s deep rhetoric about how ephemeral life was, and how wealth and money were necessary vanity but how a life well spent is eternal in value. Still, I interrupted his intense engrossment. He was excited to see me. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked that I stay around for a chat after the pastor’s message. I did.

The General is a towering man. Dressed in a grey striped French suite and black shoes, I watched him walk in his usual calculated steps as he left the tent to the other tent where the reception for visitors was to be held. He looked fresh, like he had rested well after his surprising removal as National Security Adviser. His warmth was charming and his humility ever evident. He was led to a roundtable on the first row and he took his seat by his friend Engr. Mayne David-West whom he hadn’t seen in months. They chatted warmly while they poured themselves a little champagne. He was served soup and he ate light. In about forty-five minutes he was done. Just about then, he receives a signal that the ill-fated helicopter was on its way.

He walked around to the other tables, shook hands and made his way out. He was headed for the helicopter, but he was obviously not in a hurry. He strolled with Governor Patrick Yakowa, a governor whose humility endeared me to him. Governor Yakowa spoke softly, greeted warmly and smiled like he knew it was a final moment to be enjoyed. We walked ahead of the Governor and the General, and in a few minutes we were all at the Okoroba Primary School field.

There were a few chartered helicopters arriving and taking off. The choppy drone of rotor blades slicing through the air ruffled us a bit. The primary school was sufficiently solicitous of intervention. The classroom had neither doors nor windows, in fact it looked abandoned. While we stood inside I asked why a primary school in Mr. Douglas’s home would be this wrecked. I called a young man, and in intense curiosity I began to question him. My findings were that a new primary school was being developed and new community library built and well equipped. I was satisfied, I would have been disappointed.

General Azazi watched these happen. Now it was time to take him on. I had not seen him since his removal as NSA. He was a deep man, and I was eager to hear him say something. I knew him to be blunt in a very smart way. He would not say a thing if he had not thought it through intensely. I probed into his period as NSA and asked what his take was on the Jonathan presidency. He had lost no love for the President. He said …”Ross, the president is very intelligent and smarter than most people know”. He talked about the Boko Haram issue with plenty caution, but was optimistic that the president would check them.

Now, we were joined by the IYC president, Mr. Miabiye Kuromiema, and I surprised the General when I fired: “Sir, it is about time the president threw Mrs. Diezani Allison-Madueke under the bus”. I maintained that the Jonathan presidency was haemorrhaging severely because of her continued stay as minister. I expected him to say something, his face expressionless, he remained quiet. George Kerley, a known defender of the honourable minister, quipped with a straight face: “Ross, you are right. It is time the president is told the truth… He is taking too much bullets for some of these ministers”. The General shook his head, not in approval or disapproval; he was just enjoying the chat. He brought up a few issues and we all talked with surplus warmth. We hadn’t pressed him enough when the Navy helicopter appeared within sight in the sky.

He offered us the two spare seats in the helicopter, but we declined as our chopper was at that moment already landing. He pulled George Kerley aside for a two-aside. They talked for about two minutes, and he joined Governor Yakowa again, as they strolled on the rigid pavement into the boisterous windy path of the chopper. The pilots dismounted the chopper to greet their VIP passengers; they looked smart in their military uniform. It was the governor’s and the general’s final handshake.

Mr. Darego Williams, a seasoned pilot turned business man was joining our chopper back to Port Harcourt. He cringed at the manner the chopper had taken off and didn’t stop starring at the effects of the rotor blades. I noticed he was a little uncomfortable, but then he had been off the cockpit for over two decades, so he contained thoughts.

Less than ten minutes later, we were ready to go. The captain welcomes us on board and soon after we were in the air. We had just done about 10 nautical miles when the pilot suddenly did a 180 degree turn. Mr. Darego Williams was curious and called on the captain. The captain apologized to all on board and announced to us that a helicopter had just ‘gone down’. He actually meant ‘crashed’. We were the first search party.

Less than a minute ahead, smoke plumed from the thick swampy forest. It was a clear sign of danger. We did about four low fly passes to capture the coordinates of incident site. Our helicopter had ingested the smoke and smell of burning metals, wires and flesh. We could see the helicopter and the appendage bearing the ‘NAVY’ inscription had severed from the main body. The moment was intense, we doubted the very facts we knew. We all believed some miracle could have happened; the worst case was not an option. It just could not be true.

 

Governor Abiola Ajimobi of Oyo State, by his own admission is one of the best governors in the Southwest, Nigeria. Truly, he is one of the best when it comes to imposing unpopular policies on the people of the State. Even in less than two years in office, Ajimobi has earned a reputation of a sadistic sociopath who must inflict pain on the downtrodden masses of the State who have benefited nothing from his government since he assumed office as the Governor of the State.

Ajimobi, since he became the Governor has been playing the role of a modern day dictator whose conceited decisions must not bend to anything –even public opinion. That is why today, whatever he says is final. Unfortunately, the State House of Assembly that ought to checkmate the excesses of the Governor has become a rubber stamp. If this is wrong-why has the House not for once opposed any of the Governor’s anti-people policies? Or, are they telling the good people of Oyo State that all the policies and programmes of the Governor are flawless and beneficial to the masses?

One is tempted to believe that the entire members of the house have equally joined the bandwagon of the crowd who see themselves as being intellectually inferior to ‘His Excellency’. I’m aware that most of his cabinet members do not bother advising him because he is so narcissistic that he sees everybody as being inferior to him in anything.

The abrasive Governor according to them is ‘Mr Know It All’. He knows mathematics more than the mathematicians; he even knows history more than the historians. He is a man who will never submit himself to any superior intellectual discourse. That is why he hardly accommodates in his government intellectual and ideological superiors. Whatever you think you know as cabinet member amounts to zero in the world of Ajimobi.

Unfortunately, Ajimobi is one of those egocentric politicians in the country today who will rather be ruined by praise than be saved by criticism. He belongs to the group of borderline personalities who instead proffer solutions to a myriad of problems bedeviling the poor and is now the one aggravating it. That is why today his various policies and programmes are not only propelled by selfish interest but are not people oriented.

Since our pompous Governor assumed office in May 2011, the poor people in the State have become victims of his harsh government policies. He started by his refusal to pay the N18,000 minimum wage for workers in the State before it was partially settled. And as unforgiving as he is; he proceeded with mass retrenchment of workers without thinking of the economic effect of the action.

As if that was not enough, the Governor bared his fangs on the common people especially those in Ibadan metropolis, who today have been deprived means of livelihood. These are people whose various places of business have been demolished in the name of beautification.

Today, thousands of people who do small business have been deprived their means of livelihood. These are people who are not doing business to become rich or be able to send their children to United Kingdom like the Governor; but are doing these businesses to survive. It bleeds my heart as an indigene of Oyo State to see how my people are being treated like animals by Ajimobi’s Operation Burst. I really don’t care about Ajimobi’s justification for this action. I see the action as an act of cruelty coming from a self-conceited Governor who detests the poor people in the State.

A Governor who could not provide jobs for the indigenes of the State is now depriving the few means of livelihood all in the name of beautification. This is a Governor who said during the electioneering that the N18, 000 minimum wage for workers was small; yet when they voted him into power he betrayed them. This is a Governor who promised the people of the State during the electioneering that he would not demolish any structure; but today he has reneged on that promise.

One is taken aback by Ajimobi’s trait of deceit and lies. Even when he promised to employ 20,000 youths; those employed were not up to 10,000. Even those employed were under-paid. It is clear that the Governor does not seem to understand what leadership is all about. A leader who cannot put smiles to the lips of the majority is not worthy of being called a leader. Even if as human being he has never tasted poverty, he should try to respect the downtrodden for engaging in something meaningful. These are people with families to take care demolishing their places of businesses without finding alternatives for them on time is inhuman and is not acceptable to any right thinking person.

Our Governor needs to be reminded that some have been governors before he became the governor. Whether he likes it or not, he can’t be a governor for life. The memesis of time will definitely catch up with him no matter how smart he is.

 

The 108 members of the Nigerian Senate and the 360 members of the House of Representatives had just recently returned from their various Senatorial Districts and Federal Constituencies respectively to seek the inputs of their constituents in the proposed amendment of the 1999 constitution. Both arms of the National Assembly embarked on the exercise to satisfy the yearnings of most Nigerians for a constitution that truly reflects the wishes of the people; one in which the people are involved in the process of its amendments. The general belief is that the 1999 constitution in its present form is a document handed down by the military and therefore lacks the basic provisions in a democracy, hence the need for the review.
The question one may be forced to ask is: to what extent will these constituencies’ visits or the involvement of the citizenry result in bringing about a people’s constitution? The various constituencies and senatorial districts public hearings, as I heard, cost tax payers a whopping sum of N1 billion to be organised, but there are indications that those public hearings would be the only thing people will ever know about the amendment exercise. The rest of the review exercise would be done by the constitution review committee and the National Assembly along with the 36 State Houses of Assembly before it is passed into law. Can this make it a people’s constitution, especially when the wishes of the people as being expressed during the various public hearings may not find its way into the amended constitution?
I understand that this current exercise of reviewing the constitution is not a comprehensive one and so may have some shortcomings, but if Nigerians truly believe that the problem we have in terms of the constitution is because it is not a people’s constitution, why don’t we have a comprehensive review of the constitution in which people will be actively involved in its preparation, then subject its outcome to a referendum to enable them decide what should be included and what should not. That is one sure way to the making of a people’s constitution, but what we are likely to see from the current exercise is that the same people at the helm of affairs will impose their interests, especially as it satisfies their insatiable quest for the domination of the common man, on the constitution.
The sad thing about the outcome of this jamboree is that whatever is arrived at, at the end of the day will require the approval of the 36 State Houses of Assembly members who are saddled with the statutory responsibilities of law making, to pass it into law. These members might be lobbied and just act as a mere rubber stamp to approve whatever they have enlisted in the amended bills, and then it becomes our law.
Be that as it may, the basis of this discourse is not to analyse whether the proposed amendments to the constitution is one that will reflect the wishes of the people, but to analyse whether the constitution in its present form is the reason why the Nigerian state has continued to find itself in what it is today.
Many have advanced arguments that democracy and good governance have refused to work in Nigeria because the constitution has defects in many areas. Well, I do not entirely share in this assertion. The constitution, no doubt, has areas that need to be brushed up to conform to some certain realities especially in a democracy, but the real problem is not the defects of the constitution, but on the inability, greed and selfishness of those who are saddled with the responsibility of implementing it.
Many, for example, have agitated for the removal of immunity clause from the constitution so that public officers who are found to have embezzled public funds can be prosecuted. Is that the real reason why the law has not been able to catch up with any of them, despite the wide scale theft and brazen embezzlement we see on a daily basis? A governor for example spends a maximum of 8 years in office and afterwards, lost immunity from being prosecuted, but how many of those governors long after their tenure in office have even been tried, let alone jailed for stealing public funds?
Save for Chief Olabode George who got a two year sentence for a criminal act that should have kept him behind bars for years coming, others have being completely shielded from prosecution or have been given a soft landing in the name of plea bargain. Today, the likes of the Dariyes, Tinubus, Nyames, Odilis, Nnamanis, Bankoles and others too numerous to mention, in spite of the various evidences of their monumental corruption found against them, are still seen working the street of our society free. Many of them are either holding one public office or the other or still active players in our polity, therefore giving them more avenues to loot the treasury. Some of them are even members of the Senate and key players in our various political parties. Now, the questions are: Is it the defect in the constitution that has prevented this people from being prosecuted? Is it the defect in the constitution that was also responsible for the judiciary to discharge and acquit James Ibori upon his admission to have laundered billions of dollars belonging to Delta State, who is now serving a 13 year jail term in the UK for the same offence Nigerian judiciary ruled he was innocent of?
Within the last few years, there have been three amendments to the constitution; with the current exercise making it the fourth, but what change has it brought? Has it been able to provide justice for the common man whose rights are continually trampled upon? Has the amendments of the constitution changed the allegiance of our leaders from the looting of our treasury to the service of you and I? Has it fulfilled the guaranteed rights of every Nigerian’s access to education, good road, hospitals and security as contained in the constitution? We can amend the constitution one million times, but if there is no will on the part of its implementation by those who should, the constitution will never work. It will just be an exercise in futility. Everything seems to be schemed in favour of the powerful men and women in our society, where the highest bidders win it all.
Our political leaders must realize that the selective implementation of the provisions of the constitution is a deliberate attempt to perpetrate injustice; and where there is injustice; there can never be peace and progress. It is because of the failure of our system, due largely from the selective implementation of the constitution that we have had incidences like the Aluu 4, Boko Haram, Niger Delta militancy and so on. It is because of the failure on the part of those who are saddled with the implementation of the constitution that Governors, Ministers, Directors and what have you, embezzled money meant for road development, provision of schools, payment for pensions and yet still work free on the streets and are even given opportunities to steal more.
Now that the majority of the citizens are yearning for an amendment of the constitution and the National Assembly has begun the process, irrespective of whether it is going to be a people’s constitution or not, the time to take the issue of the constitution beyond just providing beautiful and well crafted provisions, but ensuring that those provisions are followed for the good of all is now. The constitution must not just be made a document whose provisions shall have binding forces on the authorities and persons of Nigeria, but must be seen to be so.
More importantly, however, there is need for the Judiciary to rise up to the challenges of ensuring that the provisions of the constitution are duly carried out. The Judiciary, they say, is the hope of the common man. If the Judiciary wakes up to its responsibility, other arms of government will be forced to follow the spirit and letters of the constitution.
Abubakar Usman is a Town Planning consultant and an Active Citizen working towards a better Nigeria. He blogs on http://abusidiqu.com and can be engaged on twitter with @Abusidiqu

 

“Your philosophy determines whether you will go for the disciplines or continue the errors.” – Jim Rohn

The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. ~ Nietzsche.

*****

Every man; irrespective of status, education or religious background craves an identity. A niche carved out of what he represents that people can readily identify him with at any time, no matter the situation involved. Everyone has it, irrespective of cravings or how they try hard to suppress the dominant character in them – it beams without the slightest prodding, even when we deny it.

The Merrian-Webster dictionary describes ‘Identity’ as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual: INDIVIDUALITY” and as “sameness of essential or generic character in differentinstances: ONENESS”. Wikipedia defines it thus: “Identity may be defined as the distinctive characteristic belonging to any given individual, or shared by all members of a particular socialcategory or group”. We all have it in us and people recognize it in their interactions with us.

To lack identity is to lack essence!

Yet, this is not an impossible situation, even among the elite who draw up thepolicies that driveour economy and nation; maybe especially at those hallowed levels. We’ve seen people who grab at straws when the very essence they represent is sought in clear terms; they lack that distinct definition required to push through their personality and stand.

Watching President Goodluck Jonathan at his last recorded ‘live’ media chat, which threw up more questions than answers, I couldn’t help myself but ruminate on what he really stands for.

Who is and what does His Excellency Mr. President stand for?

Arriving at a conclusion was so hard for me, even after taking several scenarios into consideration. We have at one time or the other, during the height of the unique circumstances that has so fardefined his political career (Deputy Governor » Governor » Vice President » Acting, then Substantive to Elected President),concluded he is a product of mother luck. We have hazarded the guess also that whatever he touches turns to a lucky wand that smoothens all rough edges into submission. We now know better.

Think about Babangida, Abacha, Obasanjo, Yar’Adua: what comes to mind? Think Jonathan: Anything in mind?

After that recorded “live media chat” was relayed via NTA and broadcastby several other stations, I began to sort the different names Mr. President has had the honour (?) of taking on since his ascension to the highest office in the land. Perhaps it would help me to unravel this elusive identity.

Clueless?Obviously, hewasn’t the first clueless one of the presidents we’ve had. Slow?A toga for another.Maradonic? We know who the cap fits and no one lauds Mr President for his stratagems!Brutal and vindinctive? We know the enclave that houses the trademark user. Corrupt?Naa! Too many have bought into that franchise!Dull? Well, he can’t take exclusive credit for that.

There are diverse criteria that could be smuggled in and theystill won’t be definitive of our dear Mr. President. He is a “bit” of everything that I listed and more, but something shines throughall of these.

As I despaired that I might not hit the mark, something cannoned off my thoughts. I told myself there must be an area where the president has excelled with flying colours since he assumed office. Thoughts and facts started filtering in, in no particularplanned sequence.

The President while speaking through the deputy senate president at the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS), Kuru, Jos, asserted“We are vigorously fighting the endemic corruption at all levels and in all sectors of our country. I can assure you that there will be no sacred cows. Whoever is found to have transgressed will be made to face the full wrath of the law.” Ironic isn’t it? For a president who sits happily in chambers withDiezani Alison-Madueke, serially indicted by several of the presidential committees commissioned by the C-in-C himself!

I stumbled upon a damning report from “Sunday Punch” detailing how $31billion (over N5trillion) had been pilfered since the President’s ascension to power on May 6, 2010 and all I could do was shake my head in sorrow. Relate that to the quote above, and you will understand why I concluded that he is seriously searching for an identity to help him negate the obvious. He has been caught up in illusions of what he is not, and is desperately trying to make us believe he is a believer, not an usurper!

What’s in figures? Let’s have a look at what our president really identifies with, but still earnestly denies in an attempt to write for himself a different epitaph inhistory, no matter how far from the truth!

The $31bn sum was arrived at, after poring over the submitted reports from the various committees tasked by the president to look into certain sectors of the economy. For a start, The Ribadu reportput crude oil theft at about $6.3bn (N1.2trn) a year, which translates to some 250,000 barrels a day and $12.6bn in the two years of his presidency. Just this October, the Minister of Trade and Investment, OlusegunAganga wrote to the president about the loss of about 24million barrels, worth a whooping $1.6bn stolen between July and September, saying his signature was forged on the ExportClearance Permit used to transport them out of the country!

Itgets scarier.

The Ribadu report alsosaid “Ministers ofPetroleum Resources between 2008 and 2011handed out seven discretionary oil licences and that government lost $183m (N29bn) in signature bonuses via these deals.The Ribadu panel discovered that three of the oil licences wereawarded under the current petroleum minister, Mrs. DiezaniAlison-Madueke, who took up her position in 2010″ according to Sunday Punch.

Taking into account the N2.6Trn paid as subsidy on petroleum products in 2011, you will agree the signs are ominous.

ThePresidential Committee on Verification and Reconciliation of Fuel Subsidy Payments, headed by Mr.Aigboje Aig-Imoukhuede, also noted in its report that in 2011, 197 subsidytransactions worth N232bn were illegitimate.

In the other sectors, the House of Representatives’ committee on Environmentuncovered a seedling fraud of N2bn in a contract awarded by the Ecological fund office. In Telecommunications, a frequency of 450MHz valued at about $50million was sold at $6million by Nigeria Communications Commision. The identification ofNCC as a fraud outlet was further confirmed by the N6.1bn naira SIM card registration project it embarked on and the further N1bn additionally budgeted for the same purpose in 2012.

One is made towonder what the job of the various telecommunications providers is if NCC has to take up the functions of a SIM registrar.

KPMG, theglobal audit and financial advisory firm, on Wednesday November 21, 2012 rated Nigeria as the most fraudulent country in Africa, for the first half of 2012 putting the cost of fraud at $1.5bn (N225bn) while Transparency Internationalhas perpetually placed us amongst the very corrupt in its periodic Corruption Perceptions index report. We were 134out of 183rated countries in 2010, but have slipped to 143 out of the same 183 by 2011 under the presentpresident’s watch.The Report is accessiblehere: cpi.transparency.org/cpi2011/results/. Add the Gallup polls (“Global States of Mind: New Metricsfor World Leaders”) that has consecrated us, with our inputs, as the second most corrupt nation on earth and you’ll be forgiven if you think, Nigeria, in one fell swoop will varnish into oblivion due to corruption.

The President spits fire and brimstone, though with hint of slapstick comedy in tow, when it comes to the issue of corruption, majestically pumping his fists to show resolve and setting up countless committees that throw up amazingly decisive recommendations and punishments for those whose hands were caught in the chocolate jar. Sadly, he wastes no time in performing a volte-face when decisive actionis required, passing reports of such committees to other committees to vet and more committees to read, on their gradual journey into the bin.

While the president struggles with an identity, it is instructive to point him to the foundation of his government and most thriving business he has going for him: help him design a totem featuring a woman robbing a bank and a picture of a dozyAkposin hat. Present itto him with fanfare as his official staff of office while he dances round the fireplace in Aso Rock.

All we see is the security budget while security itself deteriorates further, with the president scoring himself high on security issues, BokoHaram or not. He keeps touting figures and Megawatts as if that is what translates to stable power supply, while the improvement being bandied around in the power sector has become the hollow shout of an idle mind. The queues for fuel looks like something from the old movies of Abacha, yet our president expects, nay demands the congratulatory message floods for a job well done. Jokes abound, but this is a different level entirely.

Weakness is not humility, Mr President, with all due respect. You come to our screen to tell us “I never promised to reduce poverty, I only said I will create wealth”. You ridicule every right thinking person in this country with your simplistic view of President Obama’s victory and while all these happens, you feign ignorance of the absolute corruption going on around you.

Rather than face the business of governance, you employed executive comedians in Abati and Lion Okupe to massage your cluelessness and attack those who see through your “humble” smokescreen.

And without a single iota of unease, you keep a straight face with us, expecting us to appeciate your unique brand of selective amnesia in issues of national importance. Leadership has taken a permanent sabbatical since your back rested on the President’s chair.

We acknowledge you Mr. President. The Overall Lord of all comedians in the Federal Republic (OFR), the Comedian-In-Chief (C-in-C) or should we say Grand Comedian of the Federal Republic (GCFR)?

I’m @deboadejugbe

Recently, the Daily Mail, UK, had a feature on Bishop David Oyedepo. He was accused (alongside his son who ‘manages’ the UK branch) of fleecing worshippers by making “spurious claims” and “cynical exploitation of the gullible”.

The undercover journalist who visited the British church and the British MP who condemned him acted ignorant of the antithesis of faith and logicality when they expressed surprise about how people were urged to give more money in return for blessings that were neither guaranteed nor cognisant of the realities on ground.

The feature also talked about how much of the money creamed off these worshippers are being repatriated to Nigeria (which, in a perverse sense, is a positive development!)

The same Daily Mail, weeks before, ran a feature on another Nigerian pastor in the same UK, Alex Omokodu, (who claims on his website to have raised the dead twice) and another Pastor Mbenga of the Victorious Pentecostal Assembly who scam worshippers by selling olive oil and black currant drink at double the market rate as “miracle cures”, capable of curing terminal diseases.

Like Oyedepo, Omokodu lives large, far removed from the mess he makes of peoples’ lives.

My visceral reaction at those articles was to defend my countrymen against a searchlight that might have been beamed with a racist undertone. I mean, Daily Mail suddenly woke up and realised religion is exploitative? Wow!

Isn’t that what religion has been all about for many centuries? How can we say that what Oyedepo and Mbenga are accused of peddling different from the Pope’s selling of Indulgences in the 16th Century? Religion plays on fear to rip-off poor and miserable people in the name of God. And the irony is, the more people are deceived, the more devoted they become. So, what’s new? From appropriating people’s money to shoplifting condoms to forcing youths to Be Intimate, what have church leaders not done?

If people have refused to read History books that teach us that religion came to us riding on the back of exploitation and politics, why, with the celebrated cases of Jim Bakker, Eddie Long and Benny Hinn among others, do people still throng churches and sponsor their pastors’ excesses out of their poverty? Why has the case of financial scandals involving the creators of TBN Channel -some of which are so disgusting- not caused a mass boycott of these hawkers of falsehood? Why does it spur people to defensiveness instead?

Why did somebody like Jesu Oyingbo have followership in the first place and why didn’t people walk out on Pastor Chris Oyakhilome when he charged gate fees before one could attend service? Seriously, who should take the blame? The person who sells snake oil or the one who finds a psychic relief (however temporary) from buying?

Take the case of Pastor Enoch Adeboye: On his church website, Adeboye claims God told him He had no choice but to keep Covenant Partners alive for 10 years because they were giving to Him within that period. This takes ideas of bizarre and outlandish to another height entirely.

One, a god is meant to earn his keep but Adeboye’s is one whose services people have to pay for, never mind that billions who are not his covenant partners are not only alive, but live considerably better lives elsewhere. Two, can Adeboye, personally, account for every single one of his covenant partners and that in those last 10 years, not a single one died? Can he? We are used to Nigerian judges and politicians saying that their hands are tied, but God? That sounds like something from the mind of a freakish Nollywood screen-writer.

Since the news broke that Pastor Ayo Oritsejeafor has joined the league of Private Jet-Owning Pastors, there has been, thankfully, a sense of outrage at the excesses of Nigerian pastors.

For the record, let me state that Pastor Oritsejeafor is not a good poster boy for Christianity (never mind the various caps he wears, anyone can be anything in Nigeria’s Pentecostalism). I make this point – debatable, of course- not just because of his Bling Bling jewellery like 50 Cents or even his bond with the present occupant of Aso Rock Villa; there is something about him –and I came to this conclusion after watching him raise an offering on Cable TV- that doesn’t seem to me would wait for God to supply all his ‘greeds’ according to his riches and glory.

His private jet was presented while he was sandwiched, like Jesus between two thieves, in the presence of a President who bizarrely declared he couldn’t see how corruption and road accidents are interlinked and, a governor whose public morals fall below average. Rev. Fr. Matthew Kukah could not have put it better: Oritsejeafor’s moral authority is undermined by these dalliances.

The issue is, religion, exploitation and subsequent scandals will not go away. Not in this generation. Not even in this world. As long as there is that primitive instinct in man to seek the supernatural, to seek God and the fear of death is constantly shaken before our eyes, people will continue to subject themselves to exploitative pastors to use as they like.

But the good thing Oritsejeafor has done for us is that he created a conversation; Oyedepo, Omokodu and other sellers of 21st Century Indulgences keep exposing the underbelly of these merchant-pastors; but whether this will translate into a rationality that will cause Nigerians to slow down on the ill-logic of tolerating these pastors’ shenanigans remains to be seen.

It takes more than throwing pastors in jail for their followers to be set free from the mind-prison they are ensconced in. Religion and political power are intertwined in many ways that make this impossible to begin with at all. History shows that, for instance, with an Industrial Revolution, the process creates a ripple effect that bleaches people of primitiveness to transcend religious superstitions while forging a better society that is not predicated on dogmatic concepts of theodicy which religion propagates. When that day comes in Nigeria, and even Africa, these pastors will wilfully choose jail as rescue from irrelevance the times would banish them.

But here’s the problem: These pastors know that with Nigeria’s developmental progress comes their end. And they are actively complicit in the dysfunctionality of Nigeria to extend their own longevity.